I write this blog post from my perspective. I am:
·
A Mom of a Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School Student
·
A Parkland/Coral Springs Community Member
·
A Mental Health Counselor
72 days ago, a shooter took the lives of 17 Stoneman Douglas
students, injured 17 others and changed the mental perspective of every
student, teacher, worker, parent, and community member in our area. Our once unknown little town – the one I
always described to others as a modern day “Leave it to Beaver” kind of place –
is now full of anxiety, tension and conflict.
There is healing that needs to happen, and in my own small way, I wanted
to try to offer suggestions. At the end
of this post are some resources.
The Students and
Staff – Each person experienced this traumatic day differently. Some were directly in the line of fire, and
some didn’t hear gun fire from their location.
This doesn’t necessarily correlate to the amount of mental health issues
that will surface after the fact. Each
person processes events with different levels of sensitivity and
resiliency. One student may have been in
the 1200 building watching the events transpire, and she is now back to playing
soccer and excelling at school. Another student might have run off the campus
at the start of the events, and he is not able to attend school most days. There is no right or wrong, and there is no
set amount of time that will “make it all better.” Support, counseling, development of coping
skills, processing through techniques such as CBT Trauma Training and EMDR, and
time are elements that can help these people move forward.
Family Members –
I hear from friends and read on Facebook a high level of stress and anxiety
from family members, especially parents.
As a parent of one of the students on campus that day, I can
relate. Our adrenaline kicked in, when
our children were in immediate danger.
We did what we do best – we took care of them. We picked them up, hugged them, got them
counseling, called them in sick when they couldn’t go to school, etc. But now,
the stress and pressure of almost losing our kids seems to be sinking in. Our safe little haven seems scary and
unsafe.
It is time, if you have not already done so, to take care of
yourself! Your kids and you are being
affected by your anxiety levels. Please
take advantage of the group counseling opportunities being offered or seek
private counseling. Get back to your
exercise routine and practice relaxation techniques to get enough sleep.
Community Members
– On a positive note, there are several groups trying to do good things, since
the tragedy. Some are trying to change
laws and policies. Some are increasing
awareness for issues they believe are at the center of the problem. Many are raising money to help victims,
survivors, causes, changes and policies.
Here’s the problem: There are diametrically opposed views, they affect
our kids and their schools, emotions are running high, and it is causing rifts
and strains in our community, when there should be unity and support.
While I can end this post with resources for counseling and
support, I don’t have an easy answer for this community issue. I do have a request: as we each consider responding to an idea with
which we do not agree, could we please consider that the other person is trying
to come from a good place? There is no
need for aggressive, disrespectful, personally hostile messaging. It’s toxic to you, as you write it, and it’s
toxic to our community. Take a deep
breath, when a post agitates you. Try to scroll past it. And if you can’t, re-read your reply a few
times before posting it. Ask yourself,
“is there any good that will come of my post?
Will it change the other person’s mind?
Could I hurt other people on the string of the post?” Of course, there are people –and “robots” who
try to insight us and stir the pot – we, as a community need to stop allowing
it.
This is for the healing of our
little haven.
Some Resources:
The school currently has 10 social workers on
staff to spend time with the students, if they go to the media center. They do
not need a teacher’s permission. They can go at lunch.
There are group counseling opportunities
available for students and family members
through the Parkland Resiliency Center. 754-321-HELP
Most private
therapists in the area are offering reduced rates