“I have a
good job and a nice family. So many
people are so much worse off than me. I shouldn’t be depressed and anxious.”
A client
said this to me the other day, and I have been thinking about it, ever
since. He is a compassionate person, and
he was trying to put his issues into perspective. But it begs the question – why do some people
handle their life’s struggles – however big or small – so much better than
others?
My view of
psychological issues, such as depression and anxiety, are wrapped much less in
the actual problem and much more in the person’s resiliency at the time of the
problem. Have you ever noticed that you
yourself are more able to handle what is being thrown at you at certain points
in your life? And then sometimes, even
the littles problems stress you out completely?
If we look
at a biological, psychological and social situation of a person at different
points in their life, we are going to paint a slightly different picture.
Biologically,
there are chemical and genetic factors that affect each person. That is coupled with changes in hormones at
different points of the lifecycle such as puberty, reproductive years, midlife
and late life. Psychologically, our
childhood, upbringing and culture color how we view every situation. And socially, we have and rely on different
levels of support as others and also, within our own lifetimes.
While it is
admirable to realize our situations shouldn’t be that debilitating based on
what others are going through, it doesn’t solve our problems. It may help keep things in perspective. But it is more important to realize our own
thresholds for stress, loneliness, frustration, and depression at any given
time, and address them. We are all
individuals with vastly different needs, and sometimes we need to focus on
ourselves to make life better.
